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my torture diff than your torture

Posted on April 24th, 2009 in Princess Wears Prada by hireheels

WHAT’S TORTURE TO YOU??

– waking up in my own bed after a 10-day biz trip and realizing I have no coffee filters
– watching swimsuit competition of Miss U.S.A. pageant after 10 days of in-room dining and 10 nights without pilates
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– watching the agony in wheelchair marathoner jay pisano’s face as he inched backwards across the finish line – shaking in 42 degree rain – with only the power of his right foot and hand
– having to see dick cheney’s face in the news all over again
– having to hear the words “abu ghraib” in the news all over again
– what obama must be going through every time he sees blago’s face in the news all over again
– walking in my stiletto boots with blisters in five places
– constipation – when i’m already late for a date
– wanting to return my third mattress in three months
– “mothering” a ceo for five years who won’t return the favor by fathering my child
– hearing my 72 year old aunt got scammed for $990 over the telephone
– emailing a press release to the Boston Globe and Boston Herald to the response of dozens of “mailer-daemons”
– Inability to find my highly accomplished friends jobs
– sex via sms?
– looking at the piles of paper on my desk
– hearing former boyfriend (now a stable judge) say: “If I met you now, I’d marry you”
– trying to drown out next-door neighbor’s wee-hour-debauchery with a meditation cd
– having a thousand ‘hireheels’ posts in my head and no time to write one

what’s your torture, hireheelers?

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44 Responses to 'my torture diff than your torture'

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  1. princess wears prada said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    hireheelers….sorry for the lull — but y’all know we can’t be ‘shut up’ — not even if you waterboard us!


  2. on April 24th, 2009 at 11:08 am

    no problem princess ….. i think we need 2 plan something big really big for 5-31-09!

    i guess i girls gotta do what girls gotta do…right

    …the only thing i’m planning right now is a pedicure ;-)

  3. Piper in Pucci said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    torture for me is waking up at 4 am to work out so that I can get my awesome bikini bod back. and it certainly doesn’t help that today is doughnut day at the office. so far, i am stronger than the doughnut.

    piper, i fu–ckg love doughnuts….there i’ve said it! my advice for a bikini-bod (which i thought you already had, btw) is pilates ’til you drop!


  4. on April 24th, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    torture for me… 60 degrees and sunny here (finally) and I can’t wear my hot prada sandals with my dumb broken leg… :(

  5. Zanotti-A-Broad said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    this week has been a wild culture shock….. coming back from my stint as Indiana Jones in Petra (being chased by Bedouins, falling down a mountain… temporarily kidnapped by an Iraqi taxi driver… and being stranded, alone, in the desert)

    what’s my current torture?

    - hating the fact that post-mountain-tumble, I tore a muscle and can’t walk in my Zanottis for another week+
    - knowing that I’ll miss the half-Marathon next month in Sweden because I cannot train due to my trekking accident
    - knowing that without Marathon-training for these last 2 weeks is killing my Miami-bikini-ready-abs (or used-to-be-bikini-ready)
    - receiving an invitation to an X’s wedding
    - being asked ‘How Much?’ I cost (there were no camels being negotiated with this offer…. was proposed in Paris!)
    - waking up from a random vivid dream about PLATES – - (and not a wedding registry) WTF?
    - realizing that I have NO interest in kissing the guy I was out with last night
    - realizing that the guy I was out with didn’t even try to kiss me (BUT, he STILL keeps calling and asking me out….)
    - being told that a relationship with me is ‘logical’ but there’s just no passion (wouldn’t it help to TRY to kiss me first?!)
    - knowing that I have less than 6 months to raise $1,000,000.00
    - learning that another one of my sponsors has lost their market share and will step down from my Board
    - hoping that I can seduce some new sponsors despite the economy
    - receiving a flirtatious email from my (troll-like) accountant after I paid him for his services (taxes!)… saying that he always loves hearing my voice and imagines me on my wild overseas adventures
    - seeing 6-weeks worth of unread ‘Economists’ pilled on my desk, wondering why I subscribe
    - wanting to send an SMS to this really hot Roman…….. but knowing that I’m just wasting my phone credit
    ………….

    girlfriend, you’ve out-tortured princess!!!!!! Here’s some advice:

    kiss the sponsors and make the accountant pay you for your services and then start charging everyone else for your, er, time….oops, that may border on prostitution…never mind ;-)

    oh, and forget the running …bad for the knees ….pilates, baby!!!!!!


  6. on April 24th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    those yellow sneaker platforms didn’t hurt your ‘appeal’ on marathon night sista!!!!!!!

  7. Zanotti-A-Broad said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    2 of the shoe divas currently crippled?? 1 broken leg and 1 torn muscle……… hmmmmmm……….. dare we wear flats?!?!?!!! does prada make crutches??? :-S

  8. princess wears prada said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    fuck flats, zanotti!!!!!!!!!!

    hireflats.com ??

    not the same ;-)

  9. princess wears prada said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    ps…zanotti…still reading your torture LOL


  10. on April 24th, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    a good analogy of berry giving out a thrill there & a thrill there then bailing then loaning out a few bill here & there.. kinda reminds me of a teenager getting their 1st credit card. (on a side note im helping out 1 of the gals election campaign thats running for mayor in san antonio on my spare time.. she was a big hillary supporter during that elec … & as far as i know shes no obama-aid drinker)

  11. Zanotti-A-Broad said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    LOL princess welllllllll………. u asked for it! and i could continue!!!!!!!!!!! :-P oh, and will grin & bare it – - putting on the heels and going out to a party tonight (no pain, no gain)………………. maybe 1 paris party will be a success??????? never know unless i go………… there’s always a chance to believe in miracles

  12. foxyladi14 said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    keep believing in those miracles..they happen all the time
    ((hugs all))

  13. princess said,

    on April 24th, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    thanks foxy – right back atcha girlfried!


  14. on April 24th, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    good morning girls & Zanotti i hope your party went well
    princess, have your you crazy neighbors toned down – or do you think you need to tazer them with that slick pink tazer that ya got handy

    very funny — they’ve toned down for now — but dare i speak too soon… soon to be “saturday night”…. may as well join ‘em!

  15. Back Bay Style said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 8:19 am

    X refuses to father child for our great Princess? Invite to X’s wedding? Oh it’s enough to make me grateful I’m old!

  16. Back Bay Style said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 9:04 am

    OK, I’ll confess. I think exercise is torture. And I have the flab to prove it.

  17. princess wears prada said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 11:55 am

    lol back bay…. for once i may be looking forward to it myself !!! you need to find a fun exercise….then it won’t feel like torture ;-) get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather today — hear it’s gorgeous!

  18. Back Bay Style said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    It is gorgeous..finally! Am taking a short break from going through old clothes, and at last, summer clothes, no stockings, can wear skirts again. I will at least be able to wear low wedges this year, better than last year when it was pants and sneakers wtih the ortho boot all summer. Hang in there Sista!

    Princess, I notice you swear by pilates. I think I would like it if I could find a class that would adapt to beginners. I tried it once, but couldn’t keep up.

  19. Cindy said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    boogie—which s.a. woman mayoral candidate is the hillary gal? can you say?


  20. on April 25th, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    sure i guess i can…her name is “diane ciberian”

    yoU SHOULD LET THE GALS @ THE NEW AGENDA KNOW – THEY’RE SUPPORTING FEMALE CANDIDATES FROM BOTH PARTIES…FYI

  21. Cindy said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    humid today like hell, wasn’t it?!
    we don’t ive in austin proper anymore.
    our ranch is 35 miles from Austin, but we lived in south austin for 30 years, before austin got too uppity and started acting like it was houston on a mega menu of arugula. it’s not the same laid back austin (but it thinks it is)


  22. on April 25th, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    it was crazy the night of the primary…i dont know if you remember, but Obama won austin, dallas & houston .. our girl hillary won the rest of the state….

  23. Cindy said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    yea that primary was crazy…… out in the ranch precinct the night of the precinct convention, an obama delegate (whom NO one had ever seen before!!!) came bustin’ through the door and took charge and would not even say hillary’s name. we almost punched him out! That’s ” acorn” for you…that’s how they operate….they bullied their way into all pct. conventions. it was deplorable…but our pct. and entire county went for hillary anyway! ha!


  24. on April 25th, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    did you know that they stopped counting the convention with about 51 % OF THE states reporting
    …remember how many dels the convention sent hillary’s way? i was a precinct captain & i sent her 6 delegates!

  25. Cindy said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    yeah i heard that.
    all of our old political buddies are raging obama cons. it has broken our hearts.
    i worked my fanny off for the Texas Dem. party and the travis county dems. for 30 years. they totally broke my heart last year. i worked with james carville and paul begala back when they knew to do the right thing.
    but, they hate republicans more than they love honor, and that has destroyed the democrats’ credibility with me and hubby…..very sad.

  26. Cindy said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    i can’t remember the count….it seems like a hundred years ago, doesn’t it?

  27. Cindy said,

    on April 25th, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    i’ll be out of town on may31, but i would like to see some sort of on-line observance of the day that the democratic party (and democracy itself) died.


  28. on April 26th, 2009 at 12:32 am

    so do i cindy

  29. maya said,

    on April 26th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    my torture?

    deciding between a sexy pair of dior platforms or the ysl 5-inch spikes (when I really should be deciding to pay my rent)


  30. on April 26th, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    enjoy the weather bbstyle … try the beginning pilates mat classes … the machines are for more advanced :) )

    very funny maya….the dilemmas we women face…
    i’d go for Yves St. Laurent…. have you seen the new ‘fishnet shoes’…i’ll post a pic…

  31. ryan's hope said,

    on April 26th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Well, can’t say i can relate to any of your torturous items (maybe the piles of paper on my desk, which are now nearly reaching the ceiling), but, my torture now is being a yankee’s fan! I can give you my politically-based torture too, if you like…her name ends in pelosi

    good call on the speaker … hireheels gave the speaker a stiletto thru the forehead a loooong time ago, ryan!


  32. on April 26th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    torturous things i can think of right now was going up 2 austin see my brothers dog for the last time. very soon he will have to be put 2 sleep 4ever . & i rember how that dog was always so full of life & so smart & now he cant even walk i was very close to that dog he is like part of the family……

  33. princess wears prada said,

    on April 26th, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    I am so sorry to hear your news bm — how old? It is so devasting to have to put down your dog – one of the most, if not ‘the’ most difficult things i’ve had to do :-(

    You know i was just going to add on (before reading your comment)..about those 21 helpless polo horses who died from their trainers administering a toxic supplement — such a tragedy — and everyone had to watch them die in front of their eyes.

    heartbreaking


  34. on April 26th, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    sorry boogie. yes it is devastating. hh hugs.


  35. on April 26th, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    thanks sista i appreciate it..thanks for your concern princess means alot…. I’m not sure how old he was but he best years where behind him. but it hurts inside just 2 look him in that condition.

  36. Joyce said,

    on May 1st, 2009 at 1:10 am

    My torture: Having to see BO’s face every time I try to watch the news. 12 news conferences in 100 days???

  37. becky said,

    on May 3rd, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    here’s my torture: working in beautiful “choos” all day — anyone who thinks gel inserts fit in these shoes is lying to you…. i just may have to resort to fat injections in the balls of my feet! thank heaven for the ballet slippers in between meetings.

  38. TexasP said,

    on May 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 am

    My torture is the frustration surrounding the recruiting process of any company that has an HR department. If those “HR folks” ever had to run through the recruiting gauntlet like the commoners are forced to experience the screening process would quickly be shifted to an inclusive kumbaya-fest from the “don’t call us, we’ll call you” anathema that is currently an acceptable business practice. Now that would be a change I could believe in! BTW … to cindy & bm – reducing BHO’s numbers in Houston by the fraud threshold of 40% percent bias for the acorn factor (which strangely correlates at precinct, city and county levels), BHO would have been shown the door Texas-style. It’s still raw and the dems have the nerve to try and claim there is no need to institute photo ID for voting. Hmmm.

  39. PantGlarlet said,

    on June 3rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Sweet blog. I never know what I am going to come across next. I think you should do more posting as you have some pretty intelligent stuff to say.

    I’ll be watching you . :)

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