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just say no deal » 2008 » July

“mac the (trash your) wife”

Posted on July 13th, 2008 in Sista Christian Louboutin by hireheels

Sista Christian’s not going to play nice any more. She’s stripping off her dainty tea party gloves and smacking Barry and Bernie clear across their smug little faces— something their mothers probably should have done years ago. And apparently Big Boss Mama Mich wasn’t in the house last night to keep you both in line. She was out buying herself a shiny new pair of $600 over-sized hoops…

It seams you two now respond better to trash… So Sista’s going to give it to you straight without a refined and eloquent chaser…
Have you two lost your minds— or did someone spike a sodium pentothal drip in your personally monogrammed vat “O” Kool-aid?
Bernie, here’s a realistic situation for you— you can take that hypothetical $50k and shove right it up your fat letterbox. And as for you Barry— your pithy, juiced-up unification proclamation drowned in its own saliva…
“We can’t afford to be divided by race. We can’t afford to be divided by region or by class and we can’t afford to be divided by gender, which by the way, that means, Bernie, you’ve got to clean up your act next time,” Obama said. “This is a family affair. By the way, I’m just messing with you, man.”

Which part of this disingenuous mess of claptrap do you think we missed man?!? The wink, wink…perhaps?

Earth to inflated, egotistical boobs— you need us remember? Yeah… us— the women…No, not to sew the golden buttons on your coronation cape Prince Precious…
You actually have to WIN the general election… you’re not going to have King Howie and Queen Nanc there to crown you (unless of course you’ve come up with some legal technicality to oust McCain off of the ballot too). We’re 51% of the voting population and we’re saying NO DEAL to sexist, bullheaded bilge. Try kissing my ass instead of pinching it for a change boys (that goes for you too Johnny Mc.). From now on you can all iron your own damned shirts. This cleaner’s ballot box is closed.

blackballed (hey i didn’t start it - jesse jackson did!)

Posted on July 11th, 2008 in Princess Wears Prada by hireheels

(I’ll probably get slammed for playing the race and gender card on this one!)

Don’t you just love how the media and blogosphere are handling the “nuts” comment. First of all, when I hear the word “nuts” these days, I either think of my miserable food allergies or my similarly visceral reaction to Nancy Pelosi’s perma-grin. Seriously, I haven’t heard “nuts” in the context of the male anatomy since college. princess_wears_prada_byline
But now that it’s out there, let’s have some fun with it. The ever witty and daring PaganPower (I gotta meet this guy) has just posted a brand new poll entitled: Obama’s Balls. (Hey it’s Friday!) Do visit and weigh in (with your vote that is).

We’re obviously not shy discussing balls either. Remember our video : Wimp-Gate: No Debate, No Balls!

We were on to the Senator’s shortcomings ages ago. We once told you our gal was rated #2 in LadyBalls - second only to Thatcher! And Remember Carville’s cojones comment: “If she gave him one of her cojones, they’d both have two.” But my all time fav was watching wholesome-hottie Evan Bayh repeat the
words “testicular fortitude” during an MSNBC interview in the Capitol Rotunda. Made me want him all the more!

Listen, we’re not picky at hireheels. (only ‘bout our shoes). We’re not asking for the machismo of Stallone or Schwarzenegger, but give us something to grab on to for heavens sake! Even a geek like Tobey Maguire has more bulge in his Spiderman tights than you know who (figuratively speaking).

Maybe it’s reverse sexism to discuss fortitude and backbone in these crude terms (especially here) but one thing is certain – when you hear the slang term BALLS, you get the meaning immediately. Hope you’ve enjoyed my brief yet ballsy post. I shall return next week, if I’m not blackballed over the weekend! Try to keep it clean.

On sale now: the Pride-O-Matic!

Posted on July 9th, 2008 in Manolo Minx by hireheels

You know, just when I think Sen. Obama’s arrogance couldn’t offer me any more fodder, there’s more. He’s starting to remind me of those late-night TV commercials for the latest home-cleaning product, where they keep throwing more stuff at you to get you to buy. On sale now: the Pride-O-Matic! More egotism and arrogance than the other leading candidates!

Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal examined the supposed negotiations going on between the Clinton and Obama campaigns. Because Sen. Clinton has so many delegates, she’s entitled under party rules to put her name into nomination. But if the report is correct, the Obama campaign’s trying to avoid that because they fear reminding everyone of how perilously close she came to beating him (even with all the dirty tricks her own party pulled against her).manolominx_byline

There are a number of possible compromises they could work out before the end of August, involving various scenarios giving Hillary some public recognition in exchange for her agreeing to withdraw her name at one point or other in the process. But all of them contain the possibility of showing huge support among the party trench-toilers for our gal, which would embarrass and undercut Obama’s coronation nomination. Cut her out of the nomination process and risk protests on the floor of the convention. Include her and risk showing how un-unified the party is. Anything other than their perfectly-scripted Potemkin Convention would reveal the depth and breadth of the anger among Hil supporters for being shoved out of the process. That’s hardly propitious for a November victory.

Of course, the Obama camp could be afraid of contagious buyer’s remorse before Denver . His support’s already softening among his base because of his recent FISA vote and Republican-lite talk. What if he continued to shoot himself in the foot so badly that superdelegates considered him unelectable in November? If Hillary were still technically eligible for the nomination under such conditions, only a relative handful of superdelegates would have to switch votes to secure her nomination. Could that be the real reason they’re trying desperately to get her to deal away her rights on the convention floor?

But wait! There’s more!

The DNC has announced that The Precious will accept his coronation nomination at the 76,000-seat Invesco Field at Mile High, instead of the convention location (which holds about 20,000). The media types are already salivating over his magnanimous offering to the masses.

I think he just took a big, long asparagus-stinky piss all over the average Americans who actually get up off their asses to be involved in American politics.

Most convention delegates aren’t rich, powerful, famous people. Many scrape together the money to attend the convention by working overtime, pinching pennies, hoarding vacation days, even holding parties for friends and well-wishers to toss cash in the kitty. They’re young, old, middle-aged; white, black, yellow, brown, and every shade in between; white-collar, blue-collar, pink-collar. Their defining characteristic is their willingness to work, day in, day out, year after year, in local and state politics. These are the people who choose to attend the most boring meetings imaginable and become experts in wonk talk and parliamentary procedure. They force-feed themselves policy papers so that they can make sure we develop sensible public policy with input from everyday people, like them. They sacrifice time with their families and friends to become informed participants in the great American experiment. They think voting for the right candidates, from town meeting to president, is more important than voting for the next American Idol.

And Obama just whizzed all over them. By moving the coronation acceptance to the football stadium, Obama’s saying, “Your time away from your families doesn’t matter to me. Your study, your hard work, your admirable tolerance for boring meetings, your dedication, they’re irrelevant. The adoring throngs matter.”

Don’t mistake my criticism of Obama for newbie-bashing. I understand that many people don’t get involved in politics at the nuts-and-bolts level because they’re intimidated. I was one of them until I discovered, by mere luck, how easy it was to get involved. You can volunteer a little or a lot, but all you need to get in the door is a willingness to learn and to labor. It’s good for more people to want to be involved in the political process, and that includes Obama supporters, too. Democracy thrives on involvement. But being politically active isn’t just showing up at a stadium for a concert and a speech. Participation takes work. And if you want to encourage people to participate, it’s probably a bad idea to piddle on the people who actually do participate already.

The speech is scheduled for the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech. I’m sure Dr. King would be pleased to see more Americans taking public process to heart. But what would he think of tossing aside the people who have long toiled in the trenches for liberty and justice in favor of bread and circuses?

Shift-Shaft, you’re no Patrick Swayze!

Posted on July 5th, 2008 in Piper in Pucci, Princess Wears Prada by hireheels

Obama, fresh from giving his progressive blogosphere groupies the shaft, is now busy wooing undecided swing voters to the dance floor. After shifting his position on campaign finance reform, Obama attempts more smooth moves than Patrick Swayze in piper_in_pucci_bylineDirty Dancing (though Johnny masterfully balances Baby in the final scene!).  Obama’s awkward shifts to the right of the political spectrum are so numerous, it’s more like watching Michael Jackson moonwalking sideways.  HireHeels asks: what, you just figured out that swing-dancers no likey-like two left feet?

Obama’s shifts giving the far-left the shaft are blatant and numerous:  granting
telecom immunity on FISA; admitting “heated rhetoric” on NAFTA; making “inartful” statements on the DC gun ban; siding with judges Alito, Scalia, and Thomas on the death penalty; and on his impending trip to Iraq: “I am going to do a thorough assessment when I’m there,” he said. “I’m sure I’ll have more information and continue to refine my policy.”princess_wears_prada_byline

Translation: That 16-month withdrawal promise that I made was just words.

On abortion: (hat tip to Jeralyn @ TalkLeft)
In an interview this week with “Relevant,” a Christian magazine, Obama said prohibitions on late-term abortions must contain “a strict, well defined exception for the health of the mother.”
Obama then added: “Now, I don’t think that ‘mental distress’ qualifies as the health of the mother. I think it has to be a serious physical issue that arises in pregnancy, where there are real, significant problems to the mother carrying that child to term.”
I’m sure this sits well with NARAL.

Thanks a lot, Kos and Arianna. You got played. Obama used you up and kicked you to the curb when he was done with you. You fell for his smooth, sultry “hopey-changey” pick-up lines and laid down for him. Now we’re all doing the walk of shame in step.

Obamabots, this could be your Dancing With The Stars moment!

You remember Hillary, right? The dependable, wonky, pantsuited princess who did everything Precious did only backwards, uphill, blistered, battered, blindfolded and in heels! The gal that you all mercilessly smeared because she had the gall to stay in the dancehall ‘til the last dance.

Well, nobody puts Baby in a corner. She’s tanned, rested, and ready. And there’s 18 million of us who’ve still got her back. And it’s not too late to use your collective platforms (blogs, not shoes) to help sway public opinion in Hillary’s favor. Obama is not officially the nominee until the superdelegates cast their votes in Denver. If there is a tsunami of support for Hillary leading up to the convention, the superdelegates will put their fingers up in the air and feel that the political winds have shifted. You can still help make this happen. You can still say No Deal!

Or you can continue to embarrass yourselves by standing by your right-moonwalker after he’s left you for a hotter, more elusive voting bloc. It’s your call. Just know that as long as you continue to chase him unconditionally, you’ll compromise the progressive values that you proclaim to care so deeply about. Be careful. Don’t end up like poor, knocked-up Penny in Dirty Dancing.

Of Heels, Threats, and PWS (Not to be confused with DSW)

Posted on July 3rd, 2008 in Manolo Minx by hireheels

As you no doubt know by now, Princess has been beset with charges of racism and threats because she hasn’t fallen in love with The Precious. After her recent physical threat at her home, I was ready to put my steel-toed mosh-pit specials on and kick some butt.

Then I realized that (1) my tiny little toes won’t provide her enough protection and (2) I’d only look like a reject from tryouts for Manchester United. This missive is certainly elementary for our regular posters, but I thought it might help our newer peeps navigate around trolls (heels with exceptionally bad manners and unlimited internet access) lurking on the open threads.
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1. Heels come in all colors, genders, shapes, sizes and affiliations. While I love DSW, a.k.a. Nirvana for Shoe-Lovers, I dislike PWS (People Who Suck). Unfortunately, PWSs are on any side of an issue, campaign, or conflict. They don’t speak for the rest of us. Just as I hate being judged by the more fringe elements on my side, I’m sure the more sane Obama supporters hate being judged by the kinds of freak who tried to intimidate Princess. (I might question their judgment in candidates, but I’m willing to give them at least one benefit of the doubt on PWSs.)

2. People who dislike Barack Obama aren’t automatically racist anymore than people who dislike Hillary Clinton are automatically sexist. Lots of unfair things affected the Clinton campaign more than the Obama campaign, many of them unrelated to gender. But based on everything I saw in the primary, I believe that Hillary was impacted by a deep, institutional, public sexism far more than Obama was by racism. That conclusion does not make me racist. I happen to dislike Obama because I think he’s selling himself as something he’s not and because I fear the bully-like cult of personality springing up around him. I’ve disliked the same thing in plenty of white male politicians (hello, anybody remember W?), but it doesn’t mean I’m prejudiced against white males. I happen to dislike fundamentalist preachers who want the government to impose their particular misogynist, narrow interpretation of Christianity on me. That doesn’t make me anti-Christian or anti-religious; it makes me a fan of the First Amendment of the Constitution.

3. No politician can legitimately be everything to everybody. We can’t, either. We’re trying to reach those who are uneasy about Obama and the DNC and connect them with like-minded gals and guys. We’re also trying to make our case to people who are concerned but haven’t made up their minds yet. That’s our passion. Don’t criticize us if it’s not yours—go start your own blog.

4. Politics is about addition, not subtraction. In politics, every move will gain some voters and lose some voters. The challenge for politicians is finding the positions they can support consistently and expressing them in the way that gains them the most voters. We’re trying to combine our love of country, accessories, and humor to make our case to the public. Our trolls are trying to bully us into foregoing our rights as Americans to participate fully in the political process. Which side do you want to join?

5. Be the change you want to see. Here at HH, we try to use adult debate and sharp wit to further our cause. If you don’t like people giving you a bad label, choose your labels for other people with care (something most of our regular posters already do). Eschew the crazy unsubstantiated rumors, threats, and baseless accusations. Exercise your wit, not your tin foil hat. PUMAs think wit is a big turn-on!

Finally, a message to all you heels, trolls, and assorted pains-in-the-ass: You. Can’t. Stop. Us. We’ve been radicalized by the blatant misdeeds on the part of the DNC and we’re not going to be good quiet little girls stuffing envelopes in the back while the Big Boyz made all the big decisions. Don’t like it? Tough. Go do something productive for your candidate, if you believe in him so much—that’s how you help your candidate—but take your threats and your b.s. somewhere else. You’re boring and unoriginal.

Arianna In a Huff over Barry’s Shift!

Posted on July 2nd, 2008 in Piper in Pucci by hireheels

After 17 months of crushing and gushing on Obama while simultaneously flushing out Hillary, the Greek Goddess of Obamania writes a stunner criticizing her Idol for dumping his loyal, trusting base for a sexier, more unattainable demographic: the undecided swing voter.

“…the Obama campaign is making a very serious mistake. Tacking to the center is a losing strategy. And don’t let the latest head-to-head poll numbers lull you the way they lulled Hillary Clinton in December. Running to the middle in an attempt to attract undecided swing voters didn’t work for Al Gore in 2000. It didn’t work for John Kerry in 2004. And it didn’t work when Mark Penn (obsessed with his “microtrends” and missing the megatrend) convinced Hillary Clinton to do it in 2008.”

(Of course no HuffPo post is complete without the obligatory slam on Hillary. Jealous much, Arianna? Have you ever passed legislation or had 18 million people vote for you? No? Pity. But I digress.)
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Why are you shocked, Arianna? You of all people should know how volatile mythological love affairs are!  Did you really think that he was The One you’d been waiting for? Did you honestly believe that you two had a hopey-changey future together complete with campaign public financing and telecom accountability? Tsk-tsk.We at hireheels expect naivete from mere mortals, but the Goddess of Obamania!?!?  You’ve been around the heavens long enough to know that when a dude as smooth, shifty and sexy as Barack gets what he wants from you that he’s bound to move on to the next alluring voting bloc playing hard to get. Apparently, they think that relaxed gun laws and enforcement of the death penalty is hot.

Now I hate to say I told you so A, but the signs were there all along. You should have suspected something when his peeps Samantha Power and Austin Goolsbee were saying one thing while Barack was whispering something else in your ear. I guess that you were too blinded by fantasies of a 16-month troop withdrawal and NAFTA opt-out clauses to notice.

There, there, Arianna, it’s not all your fault. Sure, you may have let him get into your ballot box a little too easily without proper vetting. And maybe you could have played coy for a while and let him pursue you a tad longer before giving up your endorsement to him. But what’s done is done. Now he knows that he can have you whenever he wants you no matter what he does, so he’s playing the field.

So Arianna, you best gather up your stockings and stilettos to make room for the next swing stater that Obama tries to bed. But be sure to wait by the phone, because I’m sure you’ll get a booty call from him whenever his poll numbers start to drop.

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