Written by Piper in Pucci

We at hireheels.com strongly believe that Hillary Rodham Clinton will be Democratic nominee in the 2008 presidential election. We’ve seen her metamorphosis from ‘shoe’-in to survivor. She has overcome being massively overspent, suffered charges of negative campaigning and racism, and endured malicious coverage in the press and on the blogs to continue to be competitive in this race.

But we were dismayed to learn this week that Senator Obama was planning to declare victory after the Oregon primary despite not having reached the requisite 2,025 pledged delegates needed to secure the nomination and before Montana, South Dakota, and Puerto Rico have their chance to vote. We’re told he’ll attempt his almost-victory lap at the scene of the crime where Hillary’s political obituary was first penned – Iowa!

Down boy! Not so fast. Girls like to take it sloooow.

Senator Obama also performed a victory lap dance on the House floor last week, causing dismay among Clinton supporters who think that he is counting his chickens before they come home to roost. All this before the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee on May 31 on the fate of the Florida and Michigan delegations. Should we be surprised when all we hear is… “YES, YES YES, We Can” disenfranchise Michigan and Florida.

It is clear that Obama will continue to “ignore” Hillary (like every bad boy does in the morning) and begin a general election campaign against McCain. Risky strategy, considering the oncoming from the GOP this past week.

This inevitability meme from the Obama camp exists for one reason and one reason only: to suppress the vote in the remaining states. This is especially true for Kentucky, where Obama is not only expected to lose, but to be crushed. If he loses by the margins expected, it would hurt his electibility argument and expose his weakness in attracting working class voters (speaking of which, have you caught Flineo’s “Unelectable” youtuber – Obama’s never been sexier!!).

Team Obama also knows that when all of the votes are counted, Senator Clinton will likely have the lead in the popular vote. This will be a powerful argument to take to the superdelegates and the public, especially after the debacle of 2000. Thus, they think that their path to victory is to demoralize the Clinton base.

Note to Obama Campaign: It won’t work!

The voters of the remaining states will have their first chance in decades to help determine who the presidential nominee of their party will be. Record numbers of Democrats are being registered this primary season, which the last time I checked, is good for the party.

Declaring victory before all of the votes are counted and before either candidate obtains the magic number not only does a disservice to the voters of those states, the Democratic Party, and the democratic process itself, but also reminds women of how much we hate big talkers and loathe premature ejaculation!

WE’RE GOIN’ ALL THE WAY – AND OOOOOHH….IT’S NEVER FELT SO GOOD!!