the premiere of “SEXist & the Sweetie” and why I won’t attend
So maybe you haven’t heard this latest kerfluffle. Sen. Barack Obama, while touring a factory, called a woman “sweetie” and brushed off her questions about the fate of the workers there. Trouble is, she’s a local television reporter. And there were cameras everywhere.
Sure, people get tired on the campaign trail and get sloppy with their language. He apparently called the reporter and left her a voicemail with a pretty decent apology, too. But this isn’t the first time he’s addressed an adult woman as “sweetie” on the campaign trail. And I’m angry about it, regardless of how silly people might think it is for me to feel that way.
I’m angry because he called a woman he didn’t know by a diminutive nickname in a tone that sounded very condescending to me. “Diminutive,” according to my handy pocket dictionary, means “indicating small size and sometimes the state or quality of being lovable, pitiable, or contemptible.” He diminished a woman, a professional woman he didn’t know, in a professional setting where she had every right to be respected. In other words, he put her in her place.
Lest anyone think I’m some humorless dried-up old hag, I work in a male-dominated industry where I have to roll with the punches every day. I work with white-collar, blue-collar, pink-collar folks from everywhere. I have developed an extraordinarily high threshold for sexist behavior and outrageous comments. Everyone I work with knows I’m the cool one, the one who can take the ribbing and give it right back without being nasty or humorless. That’s one of the ways I’ve developed solid, loyal relationships up, down and across my organization. People with whom I share earned mutual respect can even call me me nearly any damn name they want to. But nobody, and I mean nobody, better diminish me as a professional, ever. I worked too hard, performed too well, and swallowed too much crap to let anyone pat me on the head and treat me as a child who needs to sit quietly while the grown-ups talk.
Just think: If Hillary Clinton had called an adult man of color “boy” on the campaign trail, she’d rightfully be excoriated for it. But Mr. Smooth can call a reporter– who was actually performing her job of asking the tough questions on behalf of the voters –”sweetie,” and I’ll bet the cable boys are fawning all over him again. Remember the adage about dating a man that says if he’s nice to you but mean to the waitress, he’s not a nice guy? Obama just dissed the waitress. He’s telling you who he is. Pay attention!
on May 15th, 2008 at 10:51 am
MANOLO MINXIE - you’ve done it again
on May 15th, 2008 at 11:50 am
so minxie - if you won’t vote for obama - then WHO would you vote for - of course a 3rd party is virtually impossible and improbable - but would the harm be (other than to dems)…and since u stated u will no longer support a dem (obama) - then what r ur options……besides staying home?!?! Isn’t better to fight to expand/broaden the new fem message - via a continued hillary candidacy…. and in light of the agregious treatment toward it / her by MSM??
on May 15th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
obama: this chic ain’t your sweetie. words said off the cuff are the ones that generally show a person’s true character. obviously yours leaves something very much to be desired. take your sugar and shove it right up ted kennedy’s arse— which should be a familiar orifice for you, because clearly you’ve been kissing it for months now!!
this gal isn’t going to take it anymore even if it means sticking a five-inch wedge right in the middle of the dem party!!! you and your crew will probably call me something more like a “c u next tuesday” rather than a sweetie… fine I’m going to proudly slip on that particular brand of pump for the first time in my entire life. hear me roar!!!!!!
on May 15th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Poledancing Princess,
That’s a good question. I said in another blog post I’m inclined to vote Dem in November regardless of how much anti-nausea medicine I have to take to do it, because of how terrified I am of saint john. But last time I checked, there is no official Democratic nominee, so there’s still fighting to be done for our candidate
If Obama’s the nominee, I may still vote Dem (sigh, gag), but there are lots of things I can do towards the ultimate effort of inflicting deserved payback on the bastards who have gamed this nomination system, enabled such blatant misogyny in the public sphere, and otherwise treated us like children. For example, naral’s pac just voted to give obama the endorsement, even though many of his past statements and actions aren’t exactly ringing endorsemtns of a woman’s right to determine what goes on in her own body. According to reports I’ve seen, naral member chapters weren’t consulted and many of their members are livid about it, to the point where they may freeze all donations. Boycotts, donation freezes, swamping local dem ward and state committee meetings with our kinda women to change their makeup, there are all kinds of things we can do to change this sorry state of affairs, if we’re committed and strategic enough. Just my $0.02.
on May 17th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
naral’s action was very damaging. some of us were already considering a HIllaristas for McCain movement, and beginning to question letting Dem male politicians lead us around by our fallopian tubes by the threat of a McCain Supreme Court.
maybe Wade vs Roe isn’t such an essential sacred cow. the clintons both say, “Abortion should be safe, legal, and rare.” Maybe we should get back to making it rare, by pushing for better contraception etc.
the idea of naral using their position to try to nominate, not someone clearly better on abortion, but someone they happen to like for other reasons….!
now they say we’ll get over our ‘wounded feelings’ and come in line in November. Never!
on May 17th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Regarding the words said off the cuff are more indicative of a person’s true feelings. I wholeheartedly agree! BO’s entire campaign has been condescending — from top to bottom. Starting with HIM, sifting down to Axelrod, the rest of his surrogates, and let’s not forget… the Media and the blogosphere. It starts with Obama and it ends with him! I don’t know why but as soon as he said “sweetie,’ I just couldn’t help but think … well, well, well, now isn’t that the REAL reason for all of the sexist, misogynistic attacks on Hillary and the rest of us? I can just imagine what goes one behind closed doors when Obama has those meetings with the likes of Kerry, Kennedy, Edwards, etc. etc. It’s one BIG Boy’s Club — sweeties. So, just do your thing… suck it up and vote for the guy.
Well, guys… gotta say — NO MEANS NO!
on May 17th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
After being a Democrat my entire life, and voting for about 20 years now, if Obama is somehow nominated, I will not vote Democrat. I will write-in Hillary’s name. I also will work my buns off in order to see that the Senate and Congress is filled with Democrats in order to off-set any McCain damage. That is one way that I can live with myself.
on May 19th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Some lawyer! You’d think he’d know how remarks like his get guys’ butts right into EEOC battles. Someone should interview an EEOC investigator to see how she would respond when a “boss” repeatedly calls professional women “sweetie” while ignoring their requests as he busies himself with the men. I got so angry at that I made this (please pass on, esp to Oregon & Kentucky!):
Senator Hillary Clinton Podcast Excerpts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfUspZpot6Y
on May 21st, 2008 at 11:16 pm
I applaud of all you on trying to make things right ……. I too was offended by “sweetie”, punished with a baby remark and making his sole purpose on preventing the “Alive Infant Act (?) from being passed.
Any man that can support killing a baby that survived an abortion (refuse medical treatment) has no regard for anyone’s life. How can he make decisions for our country that is currently suffering from cardiac arrest? He will never see the suffering of women and children with any true concern. He may offer a band aide to appease the obvious, but he won’t really care about why he’s doing it.
That’s the difference with Hillary….. she has always fought for those to weak to care and those without a voice. She has fought for people since her college days…… that’s her true character. She doesn’t care about race and gender…… she just tries to make a difference. Why can’t people see that. They ding her on a 10 year old memory brain fart, but a recent 20year relationship with a spiritual teacher who hates whites and the government is ok to forgive. Her campaign was expected and designed to fail from the start……. shame on those who help set her up for failure and allowed the blatant sexist remarks to be tolerated from the beginning.
He is an egotistical pompous ass that probably has never done anything to benefit women or children….. unless, it was to benefit him also. He is not into serving the public….. he might have participated in a couple community projects. I am from IL and this guy is an opportunist. He goes with the flow and he ditches anyone that gets in his political way. I don’t like him and don’t trust him and therefore I will never vote for him.
Obama, please spare me and don’t insult me with the condescending remarks …… I am a woman who deserves respect.
on May 26th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
if he’s nice to you but mean to the waitress, he’s not a nice guy
That’s a good one.
on May 26th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
if he’s nice to you but mean to the waitress, he’s not a nice guy
Uh - what if he’s nice to you but he’s even nicer to the waiter?
on May 28th, 2008 at 2:11 am
I too am a professional woman who has made it and brushed off way too much.
I reject Senator Obama’s calling a professional woman “sweetie.” Frankly, if I were his wife I’d be pretty ticked if this is his habit as well.
Unfortunately for Obama, this event did not occur in isolation and is therefore unexcusable.
Good post.
on May 29th, 2008 at 4:12 am
If Obama is nominated, it will be because of the DNC & the media, not because he’s qualified. Worse, I firmly believe Obama could be a very real danger to America, and not because of race or gender. His history; basic philosophy per his autobiography and back-room comments; his long-term ties to anti-Americans and former(??) terrorists such as, for example, Louis Faraquan, el-slsl & Rev. Wright, coupled with his lack of experience and/or any achievements in the Senate; his readiness to lie, and his demonstrated immaturity (take a look at him on YouTube grinning & giving Hillary the bird) make me more than a little apprehensive about where he would lead America. Equally important, all evidence indicates that Obama does not like America nor most Americans. A vote for him is out of the question. Clinton is ahead in the popular vote and should be the nominee. However, if worse came to worse and the choice were between McCain and Obama, I would trust McCain more than Obama to lead America (one might just as well stay home as to write in Hillary’s name–it would have the same impact & effect) because, unlike Obama, McCain is (yes, I really believe he is) honest, ethical, experienced, & intelligent; and he loves America and will do what he believes is best for her, whereas, as I said earlier, all evidence indicates that Obama does not like America nor most Americans. I don’t think we could ever want or trust such a person to lead our country. (And again, writing in Hillary’s name would have the same impact & effect as not voting at all.)
on May 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Myopinion,
Right on. Professional women have to brush off too much to build solid careers, or we’re humorless. But we can’t be too much like the guys, then we’re crude. And either way, we’re still “sweetie” in a situation where a man is treated with all proper respect.
It’s kind of like what the blooger at Shakespeare’s Sister says. It’s not that we go looking for examples of misogyny to whine about. Usually we have to ignore or filter out the truckloads that get shoved in our faces every day so we won’t explode from the impact of it all day, every day, from every quarter. The only good thing about the horrible way Hil’s been treated is that more and more people have taken the red pill and can see the misogynist Matrix, including disrespect from Obama.
on June 4th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I’m just a “typical” white woman, who was called “sweetie” before Barrack was born, and grateingly endured that kind of dismissive attitude for many years of my life. But our fight for ERA in the ’70’s, in spite of the fact that we were not able to get it ratified, enabled us, we thought we would by now have had a Woman leader.
I’m also a Florida voter. Thanks for all you have done for those of us who can do so little. My heart breaks for the way the media has dismissed Sen Clinton; if she, with her long history and unique experience is denied the nomination, and had votes stolen by the Democratic Party, how many decades before any other woman will be deemed “qualified”?
I guess that can be answered with history: How many decades did the black man have the right to vote before it was given to women? This must be the way Susan Anthony felt.
I so hope Senator Clinton will not give up; will take it to the convention, or start a woman’s party. There are millions of women in both the Democratic and Republican party who WILL vote for her in November, no matter what party she is in. But legions of those women will vote John McCain before they do Barrack. Not because he is black, but because he simply is not qualified, and his baggage is too glaring.
Its too much like losing the promotions we were qualified for, to that new young man that we had to train and make coffee for. Maybe if we had ever been able to get the ERA ratified……….it wasn’t from lack of trying.
If you have any input to Hillary, please urge her not to work for Barrack; have Bill feign illness and go on a long vacation! As much as we respect her, we will NOT vote for Barrack.
Thanks again for all you have done.
on June 9th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
The misogyny issue needs the be addressed, names taken, asses kicked, roots of misogyny identified and DESTROYED, and new Fem-respecting paradigm created.
PUMAs v Fukwit Misogynists
by wangmo | June 7, 2008 - 4:33pm
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/15118
on June 13th, 2008 at 1:56 am
hi everyone:
i need to let those of you who may be interested know that there is a teleconference
scheduled for saturday, june 14th with john mccain for hrc
supporters at 3:30.
here is the access info to register for the call:
email: teletownhall@johnmccain.com
or http://cityhall.johnmccain.com
if you can’t participate in the call, but want to submit a question, please send it to mkforhillary@gmail.com